HEY who would have thought RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT

[Crystal]

Basic Outline of Engagement

I. All Physical Contact only occurs during mutually agreed upon terms.
This means that both partners have conversed extensively on what they considered mild, moderate, or inappropriate, and what is mutually acceptable with little permission and what is acceptable only with expressed permission. This is one of the founding structures of the relationship, and has to be discussed at length.

A. Small gestures, such as handshaking, hand-holding for very short periods of time, and hugging can be granted full access without previous consent after the first expressed acceptance. ____
B. Medium gestures, such as kissing, extended periods of hand- holding or otherwise body-holding, requires expressed consent for the first time. Every time preceding, nonvocal but very expressive acceptance body language can be acceptable. Listed are the expressive nonvocal agreement.

1. expressive signs of joy, so long as there are no otherwise expressive signs of anxiety. This includes “turtling” one's body in a fetal position (or anything similar), “curling up” as in to hide the more vulnerable parts of the body, or “cute stuttering” when accompanied by obvious signs of distress or anxiety. _____ OR
2. expressive consent in the form of acceptance, that expresses the same interest. “I would like this” verses “ok” or not so clear or distinct permissions. _____ OR
3. Expressive written consent stating that such behaviors are and will always be acceptable for the duration of the relationship. ____ AND
4. BREAKING ANY PART OF THIS CODE TERMINATES THE RELATIONSHIP _______

C. Moderate gestures, which include the removal of any article of clothing, require constant acceptance before each and every event. Vocal and nonvocal acceptance keys follow the same as CH I PT B, with a stricter range of rules.

1. expressive signs of joy, so long as there are no otherwise expressive signs of anxiety. This includes “turtling” one's body in a fetal position (or anything similar), “curling up” as in to hide the more vulnerable parts of the body, or “cute stuttering” when accompanied by obvious signs of distress or anxiety. _____ OR
2. expressive consent in the form of acceptance, that expresses the same interest. “I would like this” verses “ok” or not so clear or distinct permissions. _____ OR
3. Expressive written consent stating that such behaviors are and will always be acceptable for the duration of the relationship. ____ AND
4. BREAKING ANY PART OF THIS CODE TERMINATES THE RELATIONSHIP _______

D. High risk gestures, which include any sexual actions performed by either party, are always expressive and consenting in nature. They require some kind of vocal cue of acceptance before each “event”.

1. expressive signs of joy, so long as there are no otherwise expressive signs of anxiety. This includes “turtling” one's body in a fetal position (or anything similar), “curling up” as in to hide the more vulnerable parts of the body, or “cute stuttering” when accompanied by obvious signs of distress or anxiety. _____ OR
2. expressive consent in the form of acceptance, that expresses the same interest. “I would like this” verses “ok” or not so clear or distinct permissions. _____ OR
3. Expressive written consent stating that such behaviors are and will always be acceptable for the duration of the relationship. ____ AND
4. BREAKING ANY PART OF THIS CODE TERMINATES THE RELATIONSHIP _______

II. A relationship can only function without dishonesty.
Everything does not have to be expressed to the partner – ergo, there is no need to raise alarm unnecessarily. In matters where acts of dishonesty may be committed, even if it's rather innocently, then details of such need to be discussed. This includes inappropriate work-place humor with coworkers, humor with friends, and humor with other familiar faces.

A. In situations related to work-place humor, both couples have to work on the general consensus of what is or is not acceptable behavior. A clear, distinct line should be worked out by both partners involved. Some of the basics that I generally consider borderline are listed:

1. Generalized, humorous jokes that are not made in excess are acceptable, as long as your current relationship status is made clear to all parties involved. Conversations, although should not necessarily need to be addressed in full detail, should be acceptable to brief your partner on, as long as they are not bothered by it. All concerns that they address with any conversation should be heard in full, weighed with heavy thought, and mutually agreed upon an “action plan” to remedy such situations. _____
2. Inappropriate physical gestures include hand- holding unless in life-or-death situations or unless it is a matter of personal safety of either person's life. Therefore, kissing, inappropriate nudity, fondling, or otherwise “extreme” physical gestures should never be expressed with another. ____
3. Personal jokes that make either person consider an awkward situation of “if” or “hypothetical” suggestions are inappropriate and must be discussed with the significant other when another person brings it forward. Current relationship status must be reinforced and a polite rejection of such conversations must be made clear. _____
4. Terminating any part of this section results in a serious re-evaluation of the relationship by the non-consenting party. A temporary “break-up” may be issues for re-evaluation. Anything done during the “temporary break up” - so long as the temporary break up does not last past a month – cannot be used against either partner, but can be weighed in the final decision of the relationship, and whether the temporary break up will resume in a new relationship or a final break up. _______

B. Humorous remarks with friends are considered generally acceptable, as long as all intentions are made clear to all parties involved, including both partners involved in the relationship. Unless otherwise stated, they follow the same general consensus as work-place humor.

1. Generalized statements are usually acceptable, so long as both partners are willing to brief their partner on such conversations that they are involved in, or they have previously discussed the guidelines of what is or is not acceptable. These types of humorous situations are generally shared at large by the populace. ______
2. Personal statements and jokes that cannot be expressed in front of either partner are not to be expressed among friends. “If” or “hypothetical” situations that would result in the demolition of the partner's current relationship shall be refrained in friendships unless they expressly accepted by the other partner. Both partners should immediately informed the other partner of such incidences, as well. Such friendships that would call this into questioning shall be discussed only by the partners, and a mutual agreement shall be made. _____
3. Physical contact that is considered inappropriate shall be refrained from unless both partners can consent to the physical contact. This includes hand- holding, kissing, prolonged hugging (simple hugs are generally acceptable by the society at large), and any physical contact that either partner would not feel comfortable witnessing from their partner with another person. _____
4. Terminating any part of this section results in a serious re-evaluation of the relationship by the non-consenting party. A temporary “break-up” may be issues for re-evaluation. Anything done during the “temporary break up” - so long as the temporary break up does not last past a month – cannot be used against either partner, but can be weighed in the final decision of the relationship, and whether the temporary break up will resume in a new relationship or a final break up. _______

C. Humorous remarks, gestures, and physical contact with any other, non-familiar individual shall be inherently limited. Both partners should be upfront with the unfamiliar individuals about their current relationship status. Any concerns should by either partner should be addressed immediately, and a mutual agreement should be decided.

1. Generalized statements are usually acceptable, so long as both partners are willing to brief their partner on such conversations that they are involved in, or they have previously discussed the guidelines of what is or is not acceptable. These types of humorous situations are generally shared at large by the populace. ______
2. Personal statements and jokes that cannot be expressed in front of either partner are not to be expressed among friends. “If” or “hypothetical” situations that would result in the demolition of the partner's current relationship shall be refrained in friendships unless they expressly accepted by the other partner. Both partners should immediately informed the other partner of such incidences, as well. Such friendships that would call this into questioning shall be discussed only by the partners, and a mutual agreement shall be made. _____
3. Physical contact that is considered inappropriate shall be refrained from unless both partners can consent to the physical contact. This includes hand- holding, kissing, prolonged hugging (simple hugs are generally acceptable by the society at large), and any physical contact that either partner would not feel comfortable witnessing from their partner with another person. _____
4. Terminating any part of this section results in a serious re-evaluation of the relationship by the non-consenting party. A temporary “break-up” may be issues for re-evaluation. Anything done during the “temporary break up” - so long as the temporary break up does not last past a month – cannot be used against either partner, but can be weighed in the final decision of the relationship, and whether the temporary break up will resume in a new relationship or a final break up. _______

III. A person under the influence cannot give consent.
A person that is inebriated on any current substance, regardless of the drug itself (alcohol definitely included) cannot give consent. This accounts for both partners in the situation, regardless of gender. Therefore, neither an intoxicated man nor an intoxicated woman can give full consent. There actions cannot account for their sober thoughts. Both parties consent to the same choice, out of two, in this case.

A. Both partners give full and expressive consent while sober, that in situations where they may be under the influence of a compromising substance regardless of prescription, to act on their words or actions as though they are sober, to be an omission of “relationship betrayal” or otherwise wrong-doing. ____ OR
B. Either one or both partners will not give full or partial consent while sober, that in situations where they may be under the influence of a compromising substance regardless of prescription, to act on their words or actions as though they are sober, and is it not an omission of “relationship betrayal” or otherwise wrong-doing. ___ AND
C. Terminating either selected parts by either party results in dissolving the relationship in it's entirety. ______

IV. There shall be a designated outlet for hostile emotions.
This means that should a heated argument arise, both partners are to know how to respond and attend their partners crisis. Either the partner in the emotion, or the other partner, must remind them of their outlet, and the affected partner cannot continue in the current conversation or situation. Neither partner should “bully” or intimidate the other partner in the conversation.

A. A partner that needs space to think to themselves shall be given a separate, “quiet room” where they can calm down. This room shall have a lock, if they so desire. Neither partner should hold it against the other if they need space to calm down. The actions of the affected partner shall be dismissed by the calmer partner if they refuse to comply allow their partner space to calm down. _____
B. Both partners agree to drop the conversation entirely, and to enter into a mutually shared “quiet time” even if they continue to share the space, if they cannot carry on another conversation with a calm and rational mindset. _____
C. Neither partner is allowed to physically touch the other partner in an inappropriate manner during such emotional situations. They are to allow both partners the chance to calm down. ____
D. Omission, termination of, or otherwise breaking anything in this chapter results in immediate termination of the relationship. _____

V. Both partners must benefit each other in the relationship.
Both partners are supposed to help encourage each other. Whether this encouragement is to strive better at their current career path, or encouraging and supporting them through hard, emotional tough, or otherwise struggling situations, it should not matter. Negative words, and largely considered “bullying tactics” shall never result in appropriate relationship behavior.

A. Derogatory language taken out of humorous context shall not be used or expressed around either partner. Likewise, words meant to “tear down” someone's personal morale shall be refrained from verbiage in the relationship. Both partners must come to an agreement on what language is or is not appropriate regarding profane language.

1. Either, profanity such as swearing is not allowed in the relationship under any situation, even when referring to objects, persons, or situations unrelated to them. Each partner should only use such language whenever the other partner is not around. ______ OR
2. Profane language such as swearing can only be used around the partners of the relationship if it is not directed at them, whether or not it is in humorous context. The profane language cannot be used in reference to objects, persons, or situations related ____ OR
3. Profane language such as swearing is acceptable even when in reference to either partner, as long as it is not done in a malicious way, is previously accepted for use by the partner in question or said partner is amicable towards the humor and allows it. It cannot be expressed under any situation or circumstance where the remark(s) could otherwise hurt either partner, or situations referring to objects, persons, or situations related to the partner. _____ AND
4. Termination of any parts of this Chapter shall result in immediate termination of the relationship in it's entirety. ______

B. No language shall be used to crush or otherwise tear down either partner. Such language that should be avoided includes languages that humiliates the other partner. Partners should also encourage healthy inspirational goals. If it is socially just, right, or sound, not compromising of the relationships, or is legally acceptable, it should be encouraged. Especially if it is an aspiration of a futuristic career or investment. _____

1. Termination of this agreement can result in termination of the relationship. A calm discussion shall be scheduled to discuss the status of the relationship and the acceptable conversational pieces (more accurately, offensive conversational pieces) shall be discussed in depth. ______

VI. Intentions should always remain clear in the relationship.
Different individuals express and feel love differently than the next. Some people feel certain emotions – largely considered “attachments” - differently than the next. A relationship should be discussed often to re-evaluate the level of the relationship, and commitment, for a healthy and more mutually sound relationship.

A. The status of the relationship is the first boundary that needs to be ascertained. Ensure both know the availability of the other partner's social “status”. Both should mutually agree it by accepting one mutual option. This can be discussed as often as both partners feel is necessary to ensure accurate status.

1. EITHER both partners shall consider the status of their relationship as CLOSED. This means that neither partner will seek inappropriate conversations or physical contact with other members of their society, especially without their partner's consent. _____ OR
2. Both partners shall consider the status of their relationship as PARTIALLY-OPEN. This means that both partners are amicable to the idea of an open relationship so long as they know all the consenting members on either partner's side. That means any individual that would otherwise break the binding contract of this relationship agreement must be reviewed by, and accepted by, the other partner. They should feel safe to discuss details of the relationship on either ends with the other partner. They should also discuss with these new partners adequate “relationship agreements” they feel should be in place with those partners, who they inform they're also in a relationship with that is accepted by current relationship partners. ______ OR
3. Both partners shall consider the status of their relationship as OPEN. This means that they do not need to be given expressive consent to their other partners, and are largely accepted to carry on certain inappropriate conversations with other individuals. They are not allowed to form relationships with the other individuals, however, unless all partners are in agreement with one another. And all affected individuals should know about the status of the current partner's status. _____ AND
4. Termination of any part of this chapter and the accepted sections of the chapter by both partners results in immediate termination of the relationship. _____

VII. All activities that require extensive amounts of time from either partner shall be discussed in depth with each other.
Partners who will add a new element into their usual routine that will deviate by a considerable amount of time, or otherwise could be “dishonest behavior”, should be discussed between both partners to reach a mutual agreement.

A. Planned vacations or extended times away should be discussed by both partners. It is customary to inform a partner when such events may take place, so as to keep them from worrying excessively. ______
B. New additions to a usual routine from either partner should be informed to the other partner. Minor things are not necessary, such as small dietary changes. But serious deviation from normal routine should a simple discussion to inform the other partner. It alleviates unnecessary worry or concern over the other partner's current mental or physical health. ______

VIII. Both partners have read over the relationship agreement and discussed both of their concerns with the contract.
Both partners are responsible for going over the length of this contract in detail. They are largely responsible for discussing the various parts of the contract. They should come to a full understanding and mutual agreement over the various parts of the contract. Editions and inclusions should be added as both partners of the relationship mutually agree to it. Omission in any part or termination of any agreed parts of the agreement can result in immediate termination of the relationship at hand. Both partners should sign their name to state that they comply with the entirety of the relationship outline they have selected for their current relationship. Neither partner shall use the Outlines of Engagement in a harmful, or harassing nature. It is merely a guideline of what is acceptable in their unique relationship, and what either or both may consider as a breach of contract for the current relationship. _______
IX. Furthermore, both partners agree that they are entering the relationship mutually.
They must discuss the “exit plan” beyond the contracts of this agreement. This agreement is only supposed to cover the safety net for rightful grounds for termination.

A. EITHER both partners have the equal an expressive right to end the relationship even if all sections of this pamphlet that were agreed upon are honored. Therefore, they both mutually want equal say in the relationship and it's current status. As soon as one expresses their desire to end the current relationship, it is honored. ________ OR
B. OR both partners has discussed one “ruling voice” for the relationship. So long as the entirety of their agreed upon statements in this relationship are honored, and the decided voice is keeping true all agreed upon parts of this document, they have the last deciding voice on the status of the relationship. This is immediately terminated and A applies in cases where either partner no longer feels safe. Such feelings should be addressed as soon as possible. If safety cannot be ascertained, the current relationship status is considered to be immediately dissolved. ______